Another nite ...

I know i should be studyin by now .. but no .. i just finish my Media Planning exercises .. 

Brain nt functioning well .. mayb is bcoz i dun feel so well .. ya .. headache n body pain ..

Today i also not in my mood .. 1st is bcoz i dun feel very well ..

2nd is .. my emotions is a messed up .. i dunno wat should i do .. i really dunno ..

I tried not to think bout it .. but i cant .. they just keep comin into my mind and pestering me none stop .. 

I wanted to run away from all this .. but i dun wan2 hurt anyone ..

I dun mind hurtin my own self .. i really dun .. as long as everyone is happy .. tat's is enuf for me .. i cant able to make myself selfish or evil .. i just cant ..

i felt tat .. for these past 3 months.. my world just crashed into the infinite darkness .. a darkness which i nvr sees before .. 

My days used to be so hard to go thru alone .. but now .. i think i m used to it or haven it ? yes .. i have all my best frens around me .. I have them around me .. but sometimes .. i felt lonely .. there is something in me tat is missing .. somethin tat even my best frens cant replace .. 

Tat's my the other half .. someone who can share all my problems wit ..  someone who there for me when i cry n cheers me up makin me smile when i down .. someone who ll hug me n warm me up .. i used to have tat .. but now .. i lost it all .. izzit me or wat .. the heart is slowly dyin .. i become feelinless to anyone .. i bcome cold .. 

Hurting anyone is totally not my choice .. but to see their smile .. i ll have to make decisions .. s to see them happy .. i ll b happy too .. or shall i put a full stop to my story ? i know if i did .. i wont able to bare the pain n the tears .. but if tat would make everyone happy .. why not .. 

It's just the time which is gonna decide for me now .. Hope tat things will not turn worst .. i cant bared to lost this feelings of love bcoz i cant bare the pain in my heart .. i m so scare .. so afraid of the pain .. but yet .. i dunno what should i do .. 

I m really scare .. but can anyone understand? Over and over again .. i showered my love to someone .. and over and over again i was hurt .. am i not good enough to love someone? 

Yes i m giving a chance n accepting love again .. but  .. deep down inside me .. i m so scare .. to get hurt again .. how the heart ache nobody can understand .. 

Now .. all i pray n wish is .. things will turn out better .. n let the love fills the air again .. let things make my world brighten up .. i m tired of crying .. i m tired of being hurt in my heart .. i m tired to act tough all the time when i know deep inside me i m not ..