It really hurt..

I guess no matter how our arguments starts.. it always hurts.. badly..

how would you feel if you been calling a person over many times and yet to picked up ? Nervous ? Worry ? Anxious ?

Well, I am anxious and worry.. Are you sleeping ? You must be i guess.. You been very tired after the run today and outing with your friend. Is ok.. I will go home and wake you up and we go for dinner together.. 

You called back.. when I am the entrance to the house.. And your assumption to my tone.. hurts.. being blamed and chop guilty and caused of arguments. 

I guess you never know the feeling of a girl.. alone walking home in a crowded place with those people looking at you like gonna eat you up.. those eyes following you..

Being me.. saying not being understanding.. saying I always angry and make faces whenever you are out with your friends.. I admit. Once or twice.. when I really dont like it and need you.. Why I dont like it ? You always go to the places where I wanted to go since beginning but you never bring me.. You spend money with your friends and ended up saying spend too much.. When with me.. sometimes you always say dont spend too much.. 

Like today.. I was not angry at all that you were out with your friends.. I angry cause you forget.. i angry cause you ignore.. and I angry cause you misunderstood.. 

I know I should be blamed for working every Sundays and Saturdays for these 2 months.. I m sorry but it's not my choice. But you should know too.. I understand that you are not working on weekends.. that's y on weekends I never work too late and back to you on time.. 

Yet.. this all happens.. Misunderstanding makes me so tired.. Our relationship is going down isn't it ?

Forgive me for being possessive or obsessive if that's what you think.. Sorry for loving you too much.. Sorry for hoping that the first person I come back to is you but not an empty room.. Sorry for hoping that right after work the person I will run into the arms is yours.. Sorry for being the person you sees every time you got home and off work.. 

I guess.. it really hurts this time.. so painful that tears just cant flow..

Been away too long..

Sorry for leaving you alone here so long..

Been in SG for almost 2 months now.. till now.. I am not sure whether do i make the right decision.. but what I can expect now.. stay strong and live to it.. I have my mission to be accomplished.. or we.. I guess now I am wondering..

So many things have changed since we came here.. maybe I am the only one realizing it.. maybe I just being too sensitive..

Hope this wont be the reason that we cant hold each other's hand till death do us apart.. I really wish we do.. walking down the rest of our life together.. I just hope.. I being too sensitive..

Today wasn't a happy day at all.. I know you wanna go back but then, you said is ok.. if I don't wanna go back.. since the morning.. all I see from you is emo.. down.. not uttering words to me.. not talking to each other.. seems like being forced out...You promised me.. yet you act the other way round.. 

Staying here doesn't bring happiness to me.. I am not getting any stronger.. I am far apart from my beloved families and my best friends. You are the only one here right next to me for me to depend on.. you are the one here for me to rely on.. to cry on your shoulder..to be pampered by you like how you used to be.. 

but..

all now just nothing... crying now means I will cry alone in silent.. crying over missing my family.. sobbing silently.. I understand that you missed your family too.. Sorry but I am not as strong as you..

Heart broken too many times.. makes me almost give up..yet.. I still hold on and stay strong..

for us..

I really wish that we are back to where we are.. the coldness of love from you sometimes.. really creeps me out.. really makes me wanna let go of everything if that is the only way to get you back.. 

What am I gonna do without you ? Who am I without you ? 

I guess.. I am living in our past still.. wishing the most love and care out of you like last time..

Sorry..