A week more to go.. and I am leaving here.. leaving my family and friends.. Friends.. a word that have been in my thought.. others may think that I have a lot of friends, but little do they know, I don’t even know the exact amount of friends I really have..
I have lost my closest friends.. my best friends since the day I been into Uni and since the day they gone into other Uni.. I been trying my best to deny the fact that there is a big gap now .. between me and them.. know to I realize it, I am no longer in the group.. no longer having my best friends with me..
Yes, as we grows older.. friends tend to leave us.. there will be much more other friends around our friends, and slowly, they will have another group of friends, which are nearer to them, in the same campus. And, all left out was the friend who didn’t went to the same campus..
They must have thought.. I have forgotten them too.. as I went on to my Uni life getting new friends.. But, the pathetic part about me, it’s pretty hard for me to mingle to get new real friends.. once I have it.. it’s hard for me to forget and let go.. Leaving my best friends and being forgotten, it shatters my heart.. gaining a new friends.. never makes me forgets my best friends.. I guess.. the chances for us to meet is always at the wrong time.. now I felt.. I m alone again.. I no longer having best friends whom us have been together since primary and since from secondary.. I have seems like no longer belongs to the group or so I thought..
Ya.. I understand, that every each of them have their own living and lifestyle.. but why can’t I ? This is friendship all about.. understanding each other and be there for each other even know are far apart.. they are the best of friends I ever have.. understand me when I don’t even understand myself.. Now, I guess I understand that no matter how wonderful memories we had last time, as time passes by, each of us will have a new group of friends together with the changes of environment..
Ya.. I met a lot of new friends too in my Uni years.. but no one is being my best friend or true friend.. I guess.. I am always been need in the friends in need for the past 3 years in my Uni years. When I finally found friends, doubts came to me.. are they my real friends or just friends who needs me when I am needed? Am I the friend that will be forgotten ?
I can’t deny that I am not a person who knows how to be another’s friend. All I know is being a friend is be there for them whenever they need you, listen to them and lend your shoulder for them. I have friends.. but as we graduated.. each of us gets a job and again, friendship are getting apart..
I don’t blame on my best friends or my uni friends.. I guess this is life.. one of the path I need to go through.. I don’t blame anyone.. just myself.. I guess I just don’t know the way to keep and maintain my friendships.. it’s all my mistakes.. I won’t blame anyone..
Counting down the days, tearing when all the memories I had with my best friends and friends come into my thought.. I am gonna miss them all.. but will I be missed or will I totally being forgotten? Will I be like the writing on sands.. washed away as the sea water comes by..
After all, it just me..
