26 August 2010 ..

I dunno what should i be feeling now .. all i know now .. i really wan2 go n cry out ..

I lost my beloved watch to the lake early this morning .. was fishing with Baby and Navin .. when i was throwing the bait into the lake .. my watch drop .. again it was the pin tat went loose .. 

i love tat watch dearly .. it was a gift from daddy .. a limited edition Harvard Polo watch .. although is not as expensive as Seiko or Tag .. but i still love tat watch ..

how could i ever tell daddy bout it ?

What should i do ..

I really dun understand baby .. i felt tat baby is keeping his feelings again from me ..

I know.. i shouldnt be thinking bout the past anymore .. but i just cant stop it .. the vengeance heart in me just cant let it go ... i hate the past of mine .. i hate the feeling of it .. i hate to hate others ..

i thought that telling everything from how i felt to baby is just being honest and open up myself to him .. guess i was wrong .. baby wont even tell me wat is he thinking ..

logically i know .. he must be angry or upset by now .. but i just wan him to know how i felt ..

baby .. i never suspect my won feelings .. i m very sure of my own feelings .. i know wat u thinking .. but to tell u this .. i m very sure who fills my heart and who i love dearly ..

is u Baby ..

i dunno what i should do now .. i felt that i wan2 close myself up from now on .. saying things out on how i felt and everything makes us unhappy and kept silent .. i hate it this way ..

Recovering ..

Been getting sick lately .. baby too .. just recovered from his one day fever not long ..after that .. i fall sick again ..

this is is worst .. i dunno why n how .. been eating well lately yet i still having gastric .. been so painful tat nite till i kept on running in n out the toilet due to tummy ache n vomit .. at first i thought it was food poisoning .. but not .. had fever ..and the next morning .. according to baby .. i fainted .. 

finally i have to go to the hospital .. get drip and worst .. got injections .. nt my day after all ...

i felt very very bad and very guilty these few days .. baby have to take care of me and no time for his studies and his stuff .. i felt so bad .. how i wish i m not weak in health .. 

baby having his mid term tmr .. yet still haven finish studying .. is all my fault .. i fall sick at the wrong time .. i really hated myself for this .. why i have burden my baby .. i hate myself for being so weak .. i felt so useless ..

baby i m sorry .. sorry for troubling baby and burdening baby to take care of me ..

baby .. thanks a lot for taking care of me when i m sick .. how i wish i could be a better gf for u .. 

love u a lot ..

幸福..

Is 3.11 am now .. n i m still awake ..

baby is still studying for his midterm later .. he looks so serious ..

felt so sleepy .. yet my stubbornness making myself to accompany baby ..

felt very sleepy .. that's why i m feeding myself food .. to keep me awake .. trying my best to keep myself awake by doing a lot of things .. hehe ..

i felt very lucky to have baby .. he show me what happiness is ..
辛福
..

 i enjoy accompanying baby .. hehe .. wanted to share every moment with him .. wanted to be with him every single second ..

 我很辛福...