5 April 2010 ...

Sitting outside the class alone .. waiting for the class b4 to come out .. is not time yet ..

Went to gym before tat .. wanted to workout till over my limit yet i cant .. i m just not in the mood to workout .. not in mood to eat at all .. totally lost my appetite now .. but wont u care ?

I dun wan2 know the truth.. at all .. now i m in the dillema whether to trust u anymore anot .. to u .. i m always assuming ..

U told me last nite that u were at a girl's place .. for the whole day .. only u and the gal with her family .. do u know tat .. it actually stabbeed rite thru my heart .. i felt the every pinch of it ..

Just now jess told me .. tat u wasnt with the gal alone .. there are other frens there .. do u think i ll believe .. is just ur reason .. reason to cover ur guilt .. even if is true as u ll say .. u should have told me last nite .. but u din .. all u ever mention was u n the gal ..

Since now .. the gal is more important than me .. what else can i do .. u ll say stop assuming .. how can i assume when u cant even answer my questions when i ask u is tat gal now more important than me.. m i still in ur heart and do u still love me .. u cant even answer tat ..

I not assuming something with is not seen by me .. u make is so visible to me tat i cant stop thinkin bout the truth .. it really hurts ..

U r now revenging back on me .. but u make it double the price .. u hurt me more now .. more than last time .. more than the pain u felt ..

I m just too hurt now .. this is the 1st time tat i really get distracted .. i really dun wan my imaginations runs wild .. but i really dun wan2 know the truth .. the truth that hurts me so badly .. i dun wan2 know what u n tat gal been doin in her house at all .. it really freaks me out .. i dun wan to know at all .. wat u two have been doin ..

It might sounds like an accussation to u .. but i m sry to say .. this is how i m feelin now .. this is wat u showin to me now .. it really hurts .. too much .. for me to handle ..

I really wanted to end eveything even my life now .. so tat this heart wont suffer .. but i cant just let go of u .. is too painful for me to let go of u .. too much .. u make me fall in love for u again n yet u turn over hurting me back .. so deeply ..

Is it all the efforts u make n asking me for a second chance in our relationship is just a strategy in ur plan of revenging back on me ? Is it ur plan of making me fall in love back to u deeply and then hurt me back ? I dun understand anymore ..  not anymore .. makin me love so so deeply and on the other hand .. u hurts me ..

I dun understand anymore .. all i wan to know .. whether I m in ur heart ..  wat is our relationship to u now .. izzit the calling of Baby to me is just a calling ?

I just cant let go of u anymore .. n i dun think i can bare the pain n tears if we put a fullstop in our story .. all i wan is make up fpor the relationship and just be wit u ..

Am i not good enuf for u anymore ? Am i no longer important to u? Am i no longer deserve anymore love from u?

20 more days ... 笑是 ? 我不会了 ..